Our Goat Dairy



(Sidenote, day before our last final. A friend was over, who we will name Alfie, and we began thinking of how we could one day own an operating goat dairy together.)
S: Sooo, I'm going to call you one day, and be like, "Hey, I wanna bring my third grade class to your dairy, and look around. What kind of things would you do on the tour?
G: Well, we'd go and there'd be a window into the milking parlor and we'd stand there and be like "okay so you milk goats, and they have lots of milk and it's really cool, but it goes in the tank so you can't actually have any, so hahaha". And then we would move on into the barn and we would be like "These are milking goats, and these are non-milking goats, and these are like baaaaby goats, and they could like pet the baby goats or something.
S: What would they learn?
G: About goats, DUUUHHH! and like milk and agriculture, and..
S: Would they get a little sack lunch?
G: NO! We're a business, bring your own fucking lunch. You can give us a donation, and then we'll give you a lunch!
S: So, like, are you gonna do these tours on a regular basis, or like what?
G: Whenever people wanna come. We wanna have an open transparent business model.
S: Are you gonna have like a picnic area, so that if I bring my kids, because they're obviously gonna want lunch?
G: That would be fun! Well see we're gonna have to live there, so we'll probably have a kitchen or something. But we should have a picnic area! Yea, do you wanna buy us a picnic table?
S: Does this make me a partner in the business?
V: You walked into that one ooonnnn your own.
S: What else? Do they get like, souveneirs or something? Because I remember this one time I went to this goold mine and we got to pan for gold
G: It's not a gold mine! It's not a tourist attraction! It's a working business!
S: But we got to learn about a ton of stuff!
(Bunch of jobberish)
Alfie: There could be a loft about the tank room, with a window and it could be a little classroom, and they could sit there and see the milking.
S: You guys should make like a movie, because when I went to the gold min they had this little movie about like the whole thing.
G: Oh, Yeah, we could! We could put it on our website, which I'm gonna design.
S: No you don't put it on your website, you put a little brochure on your website, and you make them come in to the tour for the movie.
G: They don't wanna see a movie if they can pet live goats that are right next to them.
S: Well they do like, it would be part of the tour. You don't wanna have, yea, your gonna have to drive to Placerville to go to your dairy, so they're gonna want something to do for like the day.
G: It's not a day trip! It's just like you know, Oh, we drink goats milk, we are a little organic family, whatever.
V and Alfie: WE ARE NOT ORGANIC!!!